How to Tell When it’s Time to Leave a Marriage

It is hard to leave a marriage, and even harder to know when the time to leave it has come. Usually, it will follow a lot of hard work trying to save the marriage.

When so much effort has been spent trying to save something that has meant so much to you in the past, it is even harder to just admit the marriage has failed and give up. This hope that the marriage can still be saved combines with fear of the unknown to make it even harder to leave

But while it is worth working hard to try and save a relationship, not every marriage can be saved. There may come a time when staying and continuing to try and save it will just hurt you and leave you emotionally exhausted.

As difficult as it may be, if such a time does come along you will be better off out of it. But obviously a marriage isn’t something you give up on lightly. There are many marriage counselling services and professional psychotherapists that can help you discuss your relationship… but there are also several signs you can look for yourself to confirm that it really is time to walk away.

Your Partner Deliberately Says or Does Hurtful Things

This could be because your partner is being actively cruel or just because tensions keep boiling over. Either way, it usually means that you can no longer live harmoniously as a couple. Staying will just subject you and possibly your partner to more strain.

Your Partner Says He or She no Longer Loves You

Marriages are founded on love, and that love has to flow both ways. Even if your partner is still kind and considerate, if they no longer love you then this will make it impossible to maintain a workable marriage. At this point even relationship therapy might still work to help you salvage your relationship but if it is too far gone then it will likely just lead to tension and lack of fulfilment.

Your Partner Has Formed a Life Without You

This can happen in several ways. Perhaps your partner has moved out and built an independent life in their own home. Perhaps they have a relationship outside your marriage they refuse to end. Or maybe they just no longer treat you as part of their everyday life. All of these are signs that your partner does not consider your marriage the central part of your life that it should be, and that it is time to give up on the relationship.

Your Partner has Changed

Again, this could happen in several ways. You may struggle to see the person you married when you look at your partner. Alternatively, they may keep displaying behaviour you have to rationalise with excuses such as a mid-life crisis. Even if your partner continues to talk like their old self, they may no longer take the effort to act. All these can be signs that your partner has changed, and it may be that they have become a person you cannot stay happily married to.

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